What women want in bed...
Why do they think this is a great topic? Instead let's work on the real question... What DON'T women want in bed. That will take more work than the other version.
Why do you people read this column, really? I wonder that so often. I know people read it. I see the crusty fingerprints on my monitor. I wipe the fog of your breath off my screen. But, always I wonder what is the interest factor here. I'm so sexually bland. Nothing happens. Maybe that is it. You just wonder how anyone can get to such an advanced age and not be sexually active, at least a spark or two. Me too. If it wasn't for frequent self inflicted orgasms I would blow away, dust on the wind.
Another columnist over on the blue (we are the good guys) side is contemplating a column on the red side. Go for it! I don't remember why I started really. Pretty much gave into the temptation. Thought I had something to say. Wanted to see what would happen. Some combination of those. If you know the columnist I mean send him an email. Tell him to get over here, cum here, in effect.
Anyway, now that I'm, even more distracted... Did you know that I said the F word to Eric? It was in context at the time.
So anyway...
Did I mention how much I like Eric? Ok, stop gagging Sarah!
After the divorce I thought I would never touch a guy's cock again. Let alone the whole kissing, sucking and licking thing. But, now I want it! Eric's in particular, well probably only Eric's really.
So, what don't women want in their bed? We don't want men who are unclean. Shower before you think about getting us to play with any of your parts. Make sure you are clean all over and under. Don't miss any spots. Got that? If not, get it, soon!
