Pornaments

Pornaments. Originally found on Trendhunter.

Disappointing how little there is for FemDom/ Domme versus MaleDom and the standard Barbie doll types for men in general. What also bugged me was the Barbie doll types were posed with fat old men (Santa Claus) even a belly and man boobs showing. Why not Mrs. Claus, a woman on their level. But, not even one shows a woman, other than Barbie. (I don't count the gingerbread couple any more than I count the teddy bear).

Bondage for Beginners

Originally posted to Adult BackWash: Friday February 27, 2004  

Originally, I wrote this for someone who wanted ideas for getting started into BDSM. Mainly bondage as most people getting started aren't really looking for the SM type of things. It's a bit much to rush into something really hard core and you can't go back and undo anything you regret later. So, my best advice is to take it slow. I wrote this to a guy, but it works for either partner, man or woman. Start discussing your thoughts and desires. Tell your partner why you want to do these things before you just suggest doing them. Why does the idea of bondage, spanking or some other fetish turn you on? If you're lucky your lust will rub off on them. If not, you can try a moderated, more tame version if possible.


Get close physically at least once before you try anything BDSMish. Have some idea of what each of you are like sexually before you bring in that whole element. Use a 'safe word' and mean it. Don't make a game out of it or use it to tease, etc. If the word is used it means someone is in panic mode and everything has to stop right then. Mostly talk and talk and talk about fantasies, things that scare or concern each of you. Don't rush into some sub/ Dom thing. That should be an extra element not your focus. Just go slow and enjoy the ride.

Try bondage without bondage. Like, instead of tying her or yourself with rope have her hold onto the back of a chair or the sides of the bed. That way there is an escape open if one of you gets worried or needs a break to regroup.

When you feel ready, you can use real rope but don't actually knot it. Leave it untied. Try handcuffs but don't lock them and make sure you have a key where it won't get lost in the sheets, the rug, whatever. Try timed bondage too. Freeze the key in an ice cube and run the cube over her body. When the cube finally melts she is set free.

Try a light spank as a surprise. Just one and see how it goes. If you're both into it make it a bit harder or go for three light ones. Think of different positions too. Over the knee is one option, how about having her bend over the bed, or by the side of your desk, try new ideas. Just use your hand. That way you will both feel it. You need to have some idea of how hard you are spanking. Using an inanimate object leaves you guessing. You can't rely on guessing when you could be hurting her and making the whole experience negative rather than fun and something she's likely to want to do again.

Talk about what you want to do as you're doing it. That is so sexy. To hear someone take charge and tell you what they're going to do and how you are theirs to do it with. Do it with feeling though. The Dom is doing it to show love not to show he/ she is boss. Have a nickname just for your BDSM play, little one, minx, etc. Then when she hears it she will know you're in THAT mode and it will put her into THAT mode too.

You don't need toys and gear, most of it is brain work. Feelings and how you touch and not touch sometimes. Withholding a touch is a good way to build suspense. Bring in a new element and just let it be seen. Don't even use it. For instance place a pair of handcuffs on the bedside table and hang the key on a string around your neck. Use sound effects too. There is something kind of sexy about the sound of a whip, for me. But I'd never want to be whipped or have some amateur with no clue attempt to play with one around me. Still, the sound could be recorded and played back at key moments.

It's all about exploring and trying things to arouse and tempt your partner. Go for it, but play nice and don't be a jerk. Men might find they like being submissive even though they think they have to be a Dom. Try switching. Women might find it a real turn on to suddenly be the one in charge. Make him do things your way and at your pace. Go for it.

Slave Collars

This comes from Gorean Impressions, a post about collars and collaring from the typical Gore theme of the male Dom and female submissive. But, the ideas are about the same, just reversed.

Collars

Their are reasons for why a slave wears a collar:
1) Visibly designates a girl as slave
2) Impresses a girl's slavery upon her, makes her more aware of her slavery
3) Identifies her Master
4) Makes it easier to leash her
5) Makes it easier to put her in various ties/restraints
6) Because it is beautiful
7) Because it pleases the Master to do so


A collar is the most personal item that a slave may wear. It not only designates her as slave but it also is often enscribed with her owner's name. A collar may be as simple as a piece of cloth of fiber and as intricate as gold with jewels upon it.

The collar, unlike the brand, is not permanent and may be changed within the same house or by the same Master or as the slave is sold from Master to Master (Tarnsman of Gor), just like the slave's nick may be changed.

A slave's collar often denotes her rank. Perhaps a lowly kettle slave may wear a fiber collar or at most an iron collar. A slave purely trained for pleasure may wear an enamelled collar of yellow or red or whatever color her owner sees fit to put her in. A love slave may even bare a collar encrustled or dangling with jewels. A punished slave may wear a collar with bells upon it so that her master may not find her 'sneaking' upon him.

"Where in Tharna," I asked, "did you find Pleasure Slaves?" I had noted that the throats of the girls were encircled by silver collars.{Outlaw of Gor}

The last book of the series states that a slave should have the new collar put upon her throat before the old is taken off. This way the slave feels no sense of freedom, even if only for a few ihn.

I then fetched the collar, designed to resemble a state collar, from the flat leather box. I went behind her and locked it on her neck, above the Appanius collar. She now wore two collars. I then removed the Appanius collar from her neck. In this way there was no moment in which she was not in at least one collar.{Magicians of Gor, 358}

It is said that once the collar is off the girl is in fact free. She may be free for just the moment or she may be freed to become the Master's Free Companion.

Different cities/regions are known to have their own style of collar. For instance the Turian collar is round and loose. The Bazi-style collar is wide, tapered towards the top, belled out at the bottom, and commonly inscribed and/or enameled with intricate designs and motifs which signify the Owner and/or the nature of the kajir.

The collars of the male slaves are often not lock collars. The collars are even hidden so that they may not see how numerous they really are.

Whether or not there were male slaves I could not well judge, for the collars would have been hidden by the gray robes. There is no distinctive garment for a male slave on Gor, since, as it is said, it is not well for them to discover how numerous they are. {Outlaw of Gor}

Types of Collars

Bazi style collar: a wide collar, tapered towards the top, belled out at the bottom, and commonly inscribed and/or enameled with intricate designs and motifs which signify the Owner and/or the nature of the kajir.

cord collar: made of cord fashioned from the rence plant it is worn by rencer slaves and carries a small disk to identify the owner.

dance collar: a collar to which light- weight (but effective) chain has been attached in order to set off the dancer.

fiber collar: a simple collar made only of cloth or fiber. (Raiders of Gor)

galley slave collar: a heavy collar often having a chain hanging from it; for use with galley slaves. (Raiders of Gor)

house collar: often portrayed the name of the house where the slave belonged to, the house normally bearing the name of the owner; often bearing a legend--for example 'I am the property of the House of Cernus'; sometimes it would even say from which part of the house, such as the baths; sometimes even the cost for the use of the slave would be engraved into the metal of the collar; might even be just a chain with a plate on it. (Assassin of Gor)

iron collar: simply a collar made of iron; often hammered upon the slave's neck; it is not meant to be a beautiful collar, instead it is often used as mere incitement for the slave to train and gain a more beautiful collar. (Assassin of Gor; Raiders of Gor)

ko-lar: Gorean word meaning slave collar; pronounced as 'collar'; this term is not used often in the books, mostly the word 'collar' is used. (Slave Girl of Gor, page 80)

lock collar: A step above an ironed on collar; denoted sometimes as a 'pretty collar.' (Assassin of Gor)

message collar: high leather collar sewn closed about the slave's neck; sewn within the leather of the collar will be a message. (Priest-Kings of Gor)

northern collar: a utilitarian sounding collar made of black iron with an iron ring to be used if a chain is attached. It is rivited around the neck of the bond-maid. (Marauders of Gor, page 85)

pen collar: not a typical locked collar, more a narroe band of iron, hammered on, with a number for slaves in the iron pens. (Assassin of Gor)

plank collar: two-piece board hinged at one end and capable of being locked at the other.
plate collar: simple hammered collar. (Raiders of Gor)

shipping collar: a loose, generic colar worn by slaves when being shipped as cargo; a temporary collar showing that the slave girl is part of a cargo. (Explorers of Gor, page79)

state slave collar: has a certain color designating the city the slave is owned by; often greay; Ar's state slaves wear grey. (Raiders of Gor; Assassin of Gor)

transport collar: collar with a metal tag attached listing destination or other vital information, to be used during transport of a slave.

Turian collar: round metal

wall collar: a slave is collared and chained to the wall (Assassin of Gor)

Pink Cage for a Man

As seen on Venus Flytrap Jewels, Etsy shop.

Suit in a Cage

A little play on words. They suit being in a cage and they are wearing a suit, while in a cage. I like the circus cage on wheels. He could really be put on display this way. Mobile. Close your eyes and you will open them to a big surprise!

Steel Collar

A steel collar for your boy toy. It's not a locking collar but that's part of the fun. He doesn't need to be locked up to be owned. This is from an Etsy shop called Sinister.

Alien Abduction and the Submissive Man

I'm watching a show about alien abductions. Most of them are men. Talking and reporting about their experiences, how they have been abducted, restrained and forced to endure experiments on their body, sometimes sexual in nature.

I began to feel there is a strong link between men abducted by aliens and men who want to be dominated by women. Both want to have someone else take power away from them, use bondage, perform tests on them, possibly force them to have sex. I wonder if the ultimate fantasy is alien abduction where there is no possibility of having your wishes taken into consideration. Very little chance of communication or sympathy. Very little human interaction at all.

Does Anything Else Need to be Said?

The line about living lives as if separately is misleading. After all, someone had to hoist him up there and tie it off. There are limits to what a guy can do with self bondage. I'm willing to help!

Sleepy Bondage

I especially like this one because it looks like he is sleeping, fell asleep waiting for his Domme. Doesn't he look so peaceful. I'd almost hate to wake him up.

Masturbation Fantasies

Masturbation Fantasies: Originally posted to Adult BackWash, April 29, 2002

I'm guessing most people have something going on in their head while they give themselves an orgasm. I don't think my fantasies are unusual. I just haven't told anyone about them, before now.

In most of my fantasies I'm being seduced whether its by an older man (a Daddy/ teacher sort of situation) or I'm having a rape fantasy (not violent, its a seduction after all) by an alien or some non-human type thing like a machine. I also have bestiality fantasies. I think those are along the same lines as the rape fantasy, its all being seduced by something other than a human. A force you can't reason with, talk to, etc. I know that has something to do with the appeal of these fanstasies to me.

These are not things I would actually like to do. But, fantasies are in a world of their own. You only imagine the good parts, the parts that turn you on. The reality would be very different and not at all pleasant. But, these are the things that seem to appeal to me while I'm sitting or lying around, stroking my clit.

On the other hand, the Domme fantasies are something I think I could do. Not really extreme stuff, although I could get to a point where I would be tempted to explore some of that. The crack of a whip would really add spice to the reality versus fantasy. But, that is something I could learn to do.

One thing that does not interest me is forced feminization. As a women that is insulting really. Both as something that needs to be forced and as something that a man could attain so easily. I don't know why men want to be women, or attempt to dress as one. Women don't seem to be flocking for forced masculinization. I wonder how men would feel if forced masculinization became a fetish.

I also don't like whimpy style male submissives. They make it seem kind of gross in a way. Its more like you are just part of his jerk off fantasy than something that should be good for both of you. But, a male submissive who brings you into the fantasy, one who can crack a joke, let you seduce him and submit, especially when he doesn't really want to. That is the kind of submissive male that I fantasize about.

When I do fantasize about a male submitting to me its along the lines of a Sharon Green story. I don't know if she is still writing her femdom style fiction. They were a good read. I started reading them years ago and the warrior women, especially those in the tribe with the Goddess Mida stayed in my fantasies for a long time. I would see myself as one of the women in the tribe using men as they did. They had some kind of drug they gave them and then they tied the men down on the ground, spread eagled, and whoever could throw her spear farthest would win the first crack at the new male captive. I didn't always win. Sometimes I came back late from hunting and the man was already worn out. He would beg not to be used any more. But, I would trick him into taking the drug again and then I would use him in spite of his protests.

I guess that's why I really need a Switchy man. Someone who could submit and be submitted to as the fantasy occurs.

Did I Misplace the Keys... Again?

Online shopping is fun. When I lived downtown, in the city, I could walk along and window shop for hours. But, online you can pick your theme or interest and window shop hours too. Today I found this locking collar at Axovus. I like that it can be pulled tight or left a bit slack, depending on your mood or the situation at the time.

Real Men Wear Leather Belts

This comes from LTVS 24. There is an optional butt plug with this one. I guess it would depend on how happy you wanted to make him.

For Fictional Bondage Only: Objectification

Bondage in reality has to follow rules and we have to think of safety issues. You don't want to injure your little man, just torment him.

But, in fiction, bondage can go further, deeper and be far more evil. I remember a movie I watched (just the beginning) where the actor (possibly Clint Eastwood) was a soldier on the run from the other soldiers. Somehow he is taken in by a school for girls or some other type of women's group. They have their own building, that much was clear, and it is somewhere isolated. I forget if they find him and bring him in or if he finds them and asks/ begs/ bargains/ threatens his way in. However, it turns out that the women tie him down while he is unconscious and cut off his leg (some essential body part)/ It may have been due to a real injury or they were making sure he couldn't escape or cause them any harm. Either way he was now under their mercy and tender care. I don't remember more than that.

There is something erotic about bondage done to that extent. I am not looking for that in reality. But, in fiction, you can let your fetishy impulses run amok. No one real gets hurt. Though anyone finding out about your erotic fetish may never feel quite the same about you again.

Still, the appeal to me is not about cutting off body parts but the complete control and the extreme bondage.

I don't know how the movie ends, if they end up killing him (think The Collector) or if he escapes. I just like running scenes in my mind where the little man is in dire peril and can't escape.

Even today I was looking at the site that sells Real Dolls and came upon a picture of a real doll male torso. Of course it's just plastic (or some type of stuff like that) so there is no blood or gore or real violence. It is just meant to be a toy for those who don't want to deal with the whole body, arms and legs and the head just weight more and take up space. Right? This led me to the thought that arms and legs tend to get in the way. Even when you are writing a sex scene the arms and legs have to be kept track of and other than being used now and then, they do tend to get in the way.

How would it be to have just a male torso to play with? You'd have to keep the head of course. If only so you could listen to him protest, scream and beg for mercy. But, assuming you (or some of your friends) are able to perform the type of surgery that removes the arms and legs and then cauterizes the appendages so there isn't too much blood loss or other trauma. Once he heals and gets over some of the mental adjustment, you would have the ultimate bondage for that little man. He literally isn't going anywhere.

I know it's gross, sick and way over the scope of reality. I'd never want to do it in reality at all. It would be way too gross. It only has appeal in fiction, where I can focus on the bondage and the torment and the true evil and wickedness in the scenario.

Dollification - the process of evolving, mentally and physically, into a "living doll." Individuals who desire this process-as well as those who are in the midst of the process or have already achieved an end result-may be described as "dolls," and most desire as well to be owned. The parties involved in dollification are referred to as "Owner"and "doll"; this is comparable to a Master/slave or Dom/sub relationship.

The Doll Forum

Flickr: Male Doll Lovers

Wikipedia: Agalmatophilia - is a paraphilia concerned with the sexual attraction to a statue, doll, mannequin or other similar figurative object. The attraction may include the desire for actual sexual contact with the objects, a fantasy of having sexual (or non-sexual) encounters with the animate or inanimate instances of the preferred objects, the act of watching encounters between the objects themselves, or sexual pleasure gained from thoughts of being transformed or transforming another into the preferred object.

Bondage Leash and Collar

I like the plan behind this bondage collar with attached shackles and leash. But, it would be awkward in real use I think. I found this at Dungeon Delights Bondage Gear.

I would change it so that the leash is much longer, about double the current length. It can always be held shorter by the Domme or links can be held together to shorten it when it is not kept in hand.

The main change I would make is to have the shackles be on a single chain which goes down the sub's back. This way the arms are folded in front of him and the hands are then shackled behind his back. A comfortable position, easier to maintain for a longer time and yet it is secure. He can not reach in front of himself or raise his arms more than a short way up along his back. This is the basic posture used in straight jackets.

I think my version of this contraption would be fun to use as a leash. Walking down a public street it may look like he is just walking with his arms crossed in front of his body. Only a second look would reveal the bondage gear.

Riding in Style

Tormented Bondage Angel

There is something so alluring about the tormented angel man. Even without the bondage he is chained to behaving like a good boy, he has to follow all the good guy rules. He puts himself in bondage just by being an angel.

Doesn't that just make you want to give him a really wicked smile, flash a little boob and walk away knowing he will be unable to do a thing about it. Poor good little angel man.

Just Hanging Around

Boys Make Good Pets

A man's tie could always substitute as his leash should it become necessary.

Still, no need to ruin or damage a perfectly good tie. You can't just throw them in the wash when you get home, those things have to be dry cleaned to come out looking perfect again.

So, look around. Be inventive. Or just carry some yarn in a pocket of your purse. A nice bright, neon pink colour will do.

Always be prepared. ;)

Domme Watching TV