Man for Sale
Originally posted to Adult BackWash: Thursday November 14, 2002
How much does a man sell for you may be asking. Well, it's shockingly little. Or not so shocking, depending on your fondness for men at the moment. Mine tends to wobble around like a bowlful of jello.
What would you pay for a man? It's an interesting question. Of course, most people would say it depends on the man. Many women I know would think first of his end, the butt end. Not me! No, I don't care what he has behind him. I don't intend to spend a lot of time back there. It's what's in front that counts for me.
Let's not even pretend to consider what's inside. We all know that's just a lot of blood, guts and stuff we routinely clean off underwear, furniture and carpets upon occasion. Now, with that mental image let's consider what really is attractive in a man.
If I look at a man (anyone really) I look right in the eyes. So that's where my interest starts. The face. What kind of smile does he have, do I like the way his face wrinkles? I prefer a craggy sort of face, it gets better wrinkles and grooves and general cragginess. Thus the whole crag word. Not sure what a crag is? Think mountains, rocks, cliffs and you'll be on the right track.
From the face... I look at hands and I listen to his voice. I can't decide which matters more. Without the voice the rest doesn't matter all that much. But, if he has the wrong kind of hands I won't really care about being touched by him. Which would be a waste really as I love being touched. I also love hearing a really good male voice. I could be in a dark room and just listen to him talk. A really good voice is worth at least one good orgasm.
What's left? I kind of wonder at this point too. If you want to get technical there is the whole penis thing. But, mother's of invention that we are, women have found a way around that. We have all kinds of rubber, plastic and jelly-like penis type things. You can go to WalMart and pick out a penis and get the batteries on the side. They have those batteries right at the check outs! Right in the open! It's like they want us to buy extra duty batteries for those nifty massager things. Not that I have one of course, just the batteries. Not even the right sized batteries really.
Which brings me to a small pet peeve. Why do they sell batteries in packages of two? We can only use one penis at a time!
Well, maybe that nameless G of the Trinity... but those are just rumours. Right? I'm far too shy and wallflowerish to ask.
