Thinking of the Mechanical Man
Originally posted to Adult BackWash: Friday December 27, 2002
I have a cold and I'm really tired. But, I'm still thinking about the mechanical man. Mostly all the benefits of having a mechanical (electronic?) man around the house. Not just the standard things like opening tightly screwed on jar lids. But the things a man should really be handy for like back rubs late at night when you can't sleep. Back scrubbing for you in the shower, you know how hard it is to reach all the itchy parts and how nice it is to have a man scrub them for you.
Then there are the other handy things like being there when you get home. Not just being in the house, somewhere, but really being there. Saying hello, offering a freshly made coffee in anticipation of your being there. It would be so nice to have that mechanical man there, not only happy to see you but there to see you. The coffee would just be a bonus.
Of course, mechanical men would not grumble if you asked them to go to the grocery store and pick up a few things for dinner. They would be glad to fix whatever odds and ends needed repairs. Life with a mechanical man would be almost peaceful. When you want to be alone, just turn him off or tell him to put himself away for awhile. He never minds.
I wonder though, about having everything your own way and always that predictable. Could you respect him in the morning? Would you take advantage of him and become on the lazy side yourself? After all, he is there to do all the legwork for you, if that's what you want. Would he get boring? You could have him read the newspaper to stay up with current events but he still won't really understand them. You have to experience life to understand it. But, mechanical men just live each day to serve and be useful. They don't get to feel anger, pain, happiness or sadness. They just keep going, as long as you wind them.
Somewhere in there must be a middle ground. A way to have a man around the house and actually want him there even when he isn't convenient, well mannered or agreeable. Maybe, but the mechanical man would never tell you to "shush" when the TV is on. No, a mechanical man would always put you first and be there to take care of you when you wanted him. That's what fantasy men are especially good at.
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"There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable." --Mark Twain
