What shocks you? Men are more shocked or flustered by a discussion of menstruation than they would be if you flashed your pussy at them in a crowded shopping mall. It's kind of funny, really. If you could even flash in public, you could test out the theory.
Of course, if you were menstruating at the time, that would be the real test. Would he be shocked, aroused or angry?
Anyway, I'm having my period. Who would have guessed, eh? It started at work, so glad we don't wear white pants as part of the work uniform. The black pants don't show anything and I know there was something to show. It was one of those days when I hoped I was wrong and I was too busy to dash off to check until a bit later when it was already too late. Then, I still had to explain that I was going out to my car, no I'm not leaving early, just getting something from the car. It's funny when men question you about this sort of thing and you know they won't like the answer. The more you try to spare their delicate sensibilities the more they seem to feel they need to know. So, I tell them, bluntly at times since, really they shouldn't have insisted on all the gory details in the first place.
Of course it was one of those times when I had bad cramps. For you guys still suffering through to read this, cramps are like someone trying to twist your internal organs into a pretzel and then force the whole mess of your insides through an opening the size of a zit. It's not fun. I was bent over double and thinking how much I hate all people in general. Of course, I don't get PMS. That would be too easily explained. I just get actual MS, it all happens in the first hour. Not that I become psycho bitch, I just don't feel like making the effort to be nice for awhile. To say that I hate everyone is really exaggerated since I was still functioning at work, being pleasant to co-workers and cleaning up after shoppers. I didn't even bite!
Eventually, I decided the pain was worth a second trip out to the car. This time I just walked out and only told one of the other women I was taking my break early. Let them wonder.
I tried something new this period. Have you ever tried Mydol or Pamperin? I haven't, still haven't exactly since I'm not wealthy enough to pay double for them when I can get the generic drugs for $4.00. Yes, I did drugs! I know, some of you will be shocked. The wallflower on drugs, it's pretty out of character. I actually did hope I'd feel kind of high too. Well, it would have been an improvement over how I was feeling at the time.
Anyway, I took two pills, they smelled nice. I waited for them to work. Waited and waited and suddenly I realized they actually were working. It was great. I had asked to leave an hour early and I still did. But, before that I was feeling fine again. More like my usual self.
So, just letting you know that wallflowers can be bitchy but there are drugs to help. Send drugs to a wallflower you know today. Do you think we could found a wallflower drug drive charity sort of thing? I could try the non-generic brands.
OK, you men, it's safe to read again. In case you skipped to the end hoping there would be some part of this that wasn't too dangerous for you to read. Come back next week (on the 16th) when I'll have something brilliant and sexy in prose for the Scribbles Festival at BackWash.
