Fear is sexy. It makes people vulnerable and you have to be vulnerable to have sex that means anything to you. Sure you can bump uglies in the night but when you wake up will you feel good, feel that you've done more than scratch an itch. Each of us is vulnerable when we take our clothes off. Even the women we look at as perfect think they have plenty of flaws. Give them a minute and they can write you out a list. So, sex makes you vulnerable, you have to trust the one you're with not to point and stare or laugh. You see how it all comes back to fear?
Fear is an adrenaline rush. It gets your heart pumping, your skin sweats and you breathe faster. It's like you've started having sex before you take off your shoes. No wonder so many people go to horror movies and read all those books. What they really want, is sex. That blood pounding, slick with sweat feeling you get when you let go, take that leap of faith into the bedroom (or wherever you end up naked, hot and bothered).
Part of BDSM is bringing that fear into sex. If you've ever wondered why someone would like being tied up wonder no more. I'm telling you what the attraction is right now. It's fear and sex. Even if the bondage is all agreed to there is still that element of danger, that reason to fear. You've given up control now you're going to get it.
Now, think about being the one who gives the fear. Think about being the woman behind the man, the woman who ties him down, takes the control and teases him, letting him feel uncertain. He doesn't know what you might do, what might happen by accident on purpose. He is at your mercy. Sure he can whine about it later. But, right then he is the one who lives in fear. Of you! What a rush that is. Will you be nice or naughty? Will you tease him or go right for the big finish?
Fear is certainly a part of it. Along with all the thrills and chills of a good roller coaster ride. Grab his gears and strip 'em!
