I do think men make it seem the relationship is about sex first and everything else is secondary. I think that is their mistake in trying to find a woman. Women want more, they want sex but they want someone who makes them happy, someone who makes them feel desired and desirable. Beyond the sex they want to be close and intimate. In short, women want more and men make it seem they don't want anything more than sex.
Sex Masquerade wrote: Lusting After Sexually Confident Women
As of late, I find myself trying to find a beautiful woman that wants to and likes to fuck. What guy isn't right? I have the tendency to meet women who want to have sex, but only because I want to have sex, or because they feel like they should be getting it on because we've been on X amount of dates. It never feels like they WANT sex, almost like they have no sexuality of their own. I guess that's what I really mean when I say 'want sex'. That they have the desires and fantasies, and want to act on them. I always feel like I'm either the more sexual one, or I'm the one trying to convince them to try new things. It's a little weird. I don't mind sharing what I want, but I don't want to feel like I'm pressuring her, which it usually winds up feeling like.
So I've been trying to find women who are more overt about their sexuality, and more aware of what they want and are not afraid to get it. Unfortunately this is much harder to find. There are a couple of reasons for this it seems. One of the biggest ones is that quite a few exist, but are very discreet about it. I respect and understand the discreetness, but can I just get a hint or something? Just a little indication that you're the more sexual and are open to things. It's become a turn off that I'm with a girl and they've never masturbated before, that they have no fantasies, or that they're okay doing whatever I want since they like me. I don't want you to do it because you like me. I want you to do it because you like it, that's it's fun for you too, and FINALLY that you like getting me off. I want you to be as interested in your pleasure as you are in mine. Then there's the issue that the few women who choose to be overt about it get BOMBARDED by men from all over the place. It becomes impossible to actually get to know them to see if you match up because you're really just one of hundreds a day.
I thought about swinging, since it seems like fun, and I would say the women love and know pleasure as much as the men do (or at least say they do), but as a single male it's almost impossible to penetrate (no pun intended) the system. Then there's the problem of not having any physical attraction to the interested women. Everyone seems to think as a guy you have to take what you get, but I certainly do not subscribe to that philosophy. That causes two problems. I now look like a flake, or an asshole, because I rejected advances from one woman and I get blacklisted. I get labeled as someone who is all talk and no game, but the reality is I don't want to play with them, and I don't want to hurt their feelings in a public setting where they should feel attractive. Others will love them, they're just not for me. It also makes it hard for me to meet other people because I stay single instead of having a female partner. It's like the singleness begets singleness. The sex world frowns negatively at single men, no matter how well you conduct yourself. I could go out into the 'vanilla' (word choice?) world and hope to strike gold, or 'turn' somebody, but that's difficult, and I don't want to force my will onto someone else.
Then there's the whole issue of potential open relationships, but then I feel like my chances drop from 1 in a million to 1 in a billion.
So where are these sexual women hiding? Is there a secret society that no one told me about where there are women who are comfortable and aware of their sexuality, while at the same time not afraid to express it? Or is this really just a game of luck of the draw?
I replied: You should be choosy about the woman you want. It's better for both people in the relationship to have someone they value rather than someone they are trying to please or settled for. Maybe your search is still too sex focused. I think of myself as a sensual woman, I enjoy sex. But, I don't play around and I am looking for a man who isn't too focused on sex and has not been casual/ bed hopping a lot. A sexually promiscuous man is a turn off for me.
